


Insecurities

by JennyUdinov



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Angst, BaekYeol - Freeform, Baekhyun Is A Mess, ChanBaek - Freeform, Chanyeol is in love, Cuddling & Snuggling, Drama, Drama & Romance, First Kiss, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Help, How Do I Tag, Insecurity, Kink, Kissing, Love, M/M, Mild Smut, Romance, Slow Burn, Smut, This flopped, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Trauma, Trust, Trust Issues, idk anymore
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-25
Updated: 2017-09-25
Packaged: 2019-01-04 21:23:06
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,822
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12176808
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JennyUdinov/pseuds/JennyUdinov
Summary: Baekhyun is full of insecuritiesChanyeol helps him through





	Insecurities

They had just arrived at the dorm around 4AM in the morning after a long day and night filled with schedules. First a comeback stage then a fan meeting and pre-recording for another stage, it was a tiring day for all of them.

Baekhyun was still frowning and obviously upset since the end of the fanmeeting and that's why the pre-recording didn't go so well and took so much time to finish.

They were supposed to sit together and have dinner/breakfast because they wanted to spend some time together even though how busy and tired they were. Junmyeon had said that it's really important to spent more time together and bond, atleast 3 times a week to eat together. That was a rule now, but Baekhyun dismissed himself by saying that he was too tired to do whatever and went to his own room.

  
"What's with him, I've never seen him so upset even when we were trainees, he didn't have moments like these" Jongdae asked as they were eating instant ramyeon. Junmyeon didn't want to make any further drama, so he just tried to cover for Baekhyun, because after all he was the one responsible for them and their well being. He knew that if Baekhyun was missing a 'family' dinner, he had a good reason to do so.

  
"It's been a really crazy week for all of us, he is just tired. We could all use a good rest after so many promotions and restless nights" After his words said, everyone agreed, but Chanyeol knew.

He knew exactly what was wrong with Baekhyun and it was making him worry beyond his control, because Baekhyun never let his guard down like this for everyone to see his real emotions. No matter what he said about not having any boundaries with the members, Chanyeol knew that Baekhyun had a different mask for every occasion and everytime he used one to hide himself behind it, now however he wasn't able to put on any of them, he was hurt and way too vulnerable.

 

 

After they finished dinner, Chanyeol volunteered and stayed to wash the dishes as an excuse to see if Baekhyun would go out of his room and actually get something to eat, but that didn't happen for over an hour. Chanyeol guessed that he wouldn't come out, so he made him a hot coco and went to his room, lightly knocking, being careful and worried that he might wake him up.

 

 

~~~~~~~~~~~

 

  
Baekhyun was sobbing in his room, wrapped around with his favorite blanket that made him feel like someone was hugging him.

All of the things that had happened in the past few months just made him want to give up on everything, on his career and on hus life, he just couldn't take it anymore.

Baekhyun heard a knock on the door, so he cuddled under his blanket and covered his whole head and face as well, hoping that noone would see him crying. The memebers never really saw him crying before and he wasn't planning this to be the first time.

He heard the door being open and a low husky whisper.

  
"Baek.." It was Chanyeol, the sunshine of the group, the one who had always made everyone happy and put all of them first instead of himself. If Chanyeol saw him like that it would break him, because there was nothing he could do to help him. That made Baekhyun even more sad, which led to a loud sob that he couldn't hold in.

  
"Are you awake?" Chanyeol asked little louder than before. Baekhyun cursed himself, as he heard Chanyeol walking in, he had to reply. Clearing his throat, trying not to sound too obvious. Baekhyun answered faintly, almost a whisper, hoping that Chanyeol wouldn't notice his raw voice from the crying.

  
"Yeah" Baekhyun answered faintly, almost a whisper, hoping that Chanyeol wouldn't notice how raw his voice was from all the crying.

Then Chanyeol walked across the room and stopped next to his bed, Baekhyun knew that Chanyeol was right there, just a meter away, standing over him, but he was still hiding himself away. Baekhyun didn't want anyone to see him like that, let alone Chanyeol.

  
"Are you okay?" Chanyeol asked and the way it sounded, full of worry, so soft and caring, so loving. It made Baekhyun wrap his blanket more tightly around his head, bitting his lips. He was desperately trying not to let another sob out. After a few seconds, he managed to reply with only a mhm.

  
"I made you hot coco, your favorite for the cold days after a long and hard day, I thought it would make you feel better" He heard him leaving the cup on the bedside table. Baekhyun only nodded, fighting not to turn around and hug Chanyeol seeking comfort and cry all of his pains to him and into his arms, because he was weak and that was the exact reason why he couldn't do what h wanted, noone had to know how weak he really was.

To Baekhyun's surprise he felt Chanyeol sitting on the bed and after a second Chanyeol's heavy body making Baekhyun's little mattress sink down he was lying on it niw. It was a normal sized bed for just one person, that's why Baekhyun felt Chanyeol's warm body on his back.

Baekhyun was shoked by what was happening, that he forgot he was trying to fight his with his tears, they were gone out of pure shock. He was now breathing heavely not moving even an inch, he was confused and afraid.

That's when he left an arm wrapping around his middle, not too tight but enough for him to feel Chanyeol's whole body. Baekhyun was so stiff like chopped wood, because he didn't know what was Chanyeol doing or what he wanted. He had never shown any signs of affection or just mare interest in any way from what Baekhyun could remember.

  
"It's okay" Chanyeol whispered, leaning his forehead on Baekhyun's covered nape.

  
"You can show me the real you, I know how hard you try to maintain your image in front of everyone, but you don't have to do that with me, because I already know that under all those masks there is a fragile little heart that needs to be mend and taken care of" Baekhyun didn't expect that, not that all, he felt like someone had been hit by a truck.

Chanyeol knew he, had figured it out and yet here he was, not making fun of him or just simply leaving him for being weak like everyone else. Baekhyun felt his whole body starting to shiver, he couldn't belive that Chanyeol figured it out, he had figured Him out.

  
"It's okay, relax" Chanyeol said with a calming voice, as he moved even closer to him stroking his arm and carefully trying to pull the blanket off from Baekhyun's head.

This was the only thing that was keeping him safe and hidden from the world, just a single piece of cloth. He didn't want to move it away, but the warmth on the other side and the comfort was tepmting, but it was scary as well.

Chanyeol eventually managed to peel it off Baekhyun head when he made amends with himself, that he would need air at some point, but he didn't turn around or look at Chanyeol.

Baekhyun didn't move at all, still facing the wall and blanket still tightly wrapped around his body like a shield.

  
"That's better" Chanyeol said gladly, when the blanket was finally off his head. Baekhyun thought that Chanyeol would press further and make him turn around, make him talk, but Chanyeol didn't do that. He just wrapped his arm around Baekhyun again, pulling him into a hug, towering over him with his body, making him feel safe from the world, it was the same feeling like with his blanket, so comforting.

  
"Now relax" He whispered again, as he layed his head on the pillow and pushed his nose into Baekhyun's nape. Even, calm and deeps breaths, ithe feeling of his breath made Baekhyun dizzy, but calmer and more relaxed as well with every breathe that Chanyeol took and Baekhyun felt.

  
After awhile, Baekhyun himself decided to uncover his upper half and free his arms from under the blanket even though he felt the coldness against his skin, that same one that he was so desperately trying to avoid. He did that just so he can take Chanyeol's hand into his own and bring in up to his chest. He cuddled around his warm arm, like it was the thing that will save him from his nightmares.

  
"I'll keep you safe" Chanyeol whispered against his skin again, slowly wrapping their fingers thogether and Baekhyun let him, because after all, it was Chanyeol and not some stranger. They have spent almost 6 years together, Chanyeol would never hurt him on purpose, he wasn't like that.

  
"I know how hard it is for you, I can see it. I know how much you love our Aeris, but they don't realize it and hurt you the most out of everyone around you. All of those scandals that happened lately, they just ruined you and instead of putting their faith in you, some of our fans turn against you and blamed you for things that aren't even true" Chanyeol started talking instead of Baekhyun, but the words he was saying were exactly the same ones that Baekhyun would've said, it felt like Chanyeol was reading his mind.

  
"Some of them left, because of the rumor, that you were dating again. Others made a scandal out of a shirt you wore. Just because you wanted to make the fan that gifted it to you proud and show that you love all of them, that you care, but it blew in your face. They believe all kinds of lies, even though you told them few times to believe only your words and today..." Chanyeol scoffed without trying to hide the pain in his voice.

  
"Today, they said they didn't like you without make up. As if they are all perfect.." Baekhyun could feel that Chanyeol was hurt as much as himself, but he had no idea why Chanyeol would care about such a thing.

"They don't understand, they don't see the real you, but I do. I know about all your little things that you do, for example. I know when you get nervous you look around for someone to make eye contact for support, or when you're feeling awkward you try to hide it with a laugher, for others might seem real but not to me. I know about your insecurity for your looks and how much you care for that and how broken you are right now, because of what they said to you. I know, how you always try to hide everythat that you feel behind a mask of happiness and smiles, but you know what." Chanyeol took a deep breathe, while Baekhyun was freaking out. His heart pounding in his ears, he was terrified.

"You don't have to do that. None of it, because this is your life and you, yourslef decide what you do and not what other people tell you to do. If you want to date your Ex, okay It's your decision, if you want date the damn Pope It's still your owd decidion and noone has the right to judge you for your actions. It's exactly the same with the pathetic shirt scandal, if you want you can smoke cigarettes or weed or whatever, it all depends on you and your decisions. They don't understand that they can't tell you what to do and you only get hurt by their meaningless and untrue words" Baekhyun was feeling terrified from what Chanyeol had said so far, because it was all true, but the scary part was that he could see right through him. Which that meant that Baekhyun had a weak spot, Chanyeol could easely break him with just few words, because he know exactly where Baekhyun was week, the thing that he was so desperately trying to avoid showing to others.

  
"And for the ones who think that you're ugly you can just go out without one single drop of makeup on your face and you would look 100 times better than all of them, why? Because you're beautiful and if you need someone to tell you that everyday, so you won't feel sad or hurt I will do it, because I honestly think that you're so damn beautiful, that It's just unreal. Sometimes I get stunned by you, you're so perfect just the way you are" Chanyeol was slightly breathless because he was under the influence of his emotions, he was leaning his head on Baekhyun's forearm as he talked, but not invading Baekhyun's space any further.

  
Baekhyun had no idea how to feel about all this, everything was messed up. It was a total mess, because he was vulnerable again. Someone knew about all of his weak spots and that meant more pain. Even though Baekhyun swore to himself, never to let anyone near him, to actually know him and see everything. Chanyeol had managed to do that without Baekhyun's permission and now he didn't know what to do with him. Baekhyun realized that he was shivering again.

"I crossed a line didn't I?" Chanyeol said with a deep voice, as he realized what he had done. It made Baekhyun feel all powerless in one of the most hard moments he had in his life, Chanyeol made it even worse for him.

  
"I'm sorry..." He sighed woudly, slowly getting up from the bed. Baekhyun didn't want that warmth and comfort gone, not yet, not ever. Even if he had to show himself and put his trust in someone for the first time in a very long time and risk being broken again.

  
"I'll just go..." Chanyeol was about to get up, when Baekhyun reached out and wrapped his long, already cold fingers around his wrist.

  
"Don't..." Baekhyun said, his voice quiet and pleading. He was looking at Chanyeol now, into his eyes for the first time since he came into Baekhyun's room. Chanyeol hasitated for a moment, looking all over Baekhyun's face for a sign that he should really leave, but he didn't find any, so he slowly layed back on the pollow, facing Baekhyun now. Baekhyun was looking into his deep dark eyes, feeling like Chanyeol was gazing into his soul, learning every last secrect her had. He thought, that he was going to get lost in them if he didn't look away, so he just closed his own.

  
"I... I'm scared..." Baekhyun said and he didn't know how to continue his sentce, how could he posibly explain that he was so scared of someone, seeing his real self. It was almost like panick attack, suffocating him.

  
"I know" Chanyeol said with a deep calming voice, even thought Baekhyun didn't want to feel like that while he was talking, his voice sanked into his every bone calming him and finding a place inside his chest.

"I crossed the line there, I'm sorry" Chanyeol's words were sincere, Baekhyun could feel that, it seemed like he understood everything that was going on inside Baekhyun. Chanyeol knew him better than Baekhyun knew himself.

  
"I'm scared to let someone in, to trust someone, because...." Baekhyun was staring at the ceiling, not daring to look at Chanyeol's eyes. Taking a deep breathe, trying to find the right words to explain, but Chanyeol already had them.

  
"Because you were hurt too many times, misslead and manipulated, because you trusted too much" Baekhyun only exhaled loudly as he nodded, looking at Chanyeol now. He was staring into him like he haven't stop even for a second.

  
"I feel... Naked in front of you, because I have been trying so hard to hide all those things about myself from everyone and not let anyone catch on to them, but here you are telling me every thought I've ever had and... I just feel used and betrayed... Overwhelmed" Baekhyun knew that those words weren't really at their place and that Chanyeol might take them the wrong way, but there was no other way to put it.

Chanyeol looked away from him for the first time, obviously feeling guilty that he had done the wrong thing, Baekhyun continued explaining.

  
"But as scary as it might feel plus the doubt and insecurity be knocking at my door. Well rammung it down if I have to be honest. In a way I'm glad that you did this... The thing I hate the most, someone observing me and gathering information about me and figuring out things about me, that were meant to be hid away without my permission. I hate and despise that, but I'm glad that you did, because I can't hate you, not you" Baekhyun pulled the blanket inbetween them, covering himself as if he was trying to hide again, trying to feel safe from everything in yhe world, even though he knew that the only place that he would feel what he wanted was in Chanyeol's arms.

  
"I'm sorry" Chanyeol said again deeply and calm, eyes sparkling with regret, as he took Baekhyun's hand in his own warm one, while he was still gripping the blanket tightly.

  
"I didn't think it would affect you like this, my intentions weren't to hurt you, not at all. I just wanted to make you feel better, but I only made it worse, didnt I.... You're going to close yourself even more now and hide away from the world" Chanyeol was looking down at their hands sighing loudly. Closing his eyes, his eyelids seemed too heavy, Baekhyun could see his whole face filled with regret.

  
"If that helps you in any way, for me It's too obvious but it must be said because you need to know it. I will never, like ever do anything to hurt you, if you think that I will. I am sorry if i made that impression and I will do whatever it takes to prove you wrong. To prove you that I will keep you and your secrets safe from the world, I would never betray you" Baekhyun was srill so scared of the whole situation, even of himself right now, because he wanted to trust Chanyeol. Every single cell in his body was telling him that he could trust him, to wrap his arms around him and let Chanyeol take care of him. Baekhyun wanted to believe him and his words give him all of his broken pieces and wait for him to glue them together, but he wasn't sure what would happen if he put his heart in Chanyeol's hands. Would he care for his heart like Baekhyun needs to or would he crush it beyond repair.

  
Baekhyun knew that at some point he had to take the leap of faith and trust someone with everything and let them see what he really was, behind everything, but he didn't exepct it to be so soon and he definitely didn't expect it to be Chanyeol, his friend from the group.

Baekhyun closed his eyes trying to sort everything out in his head, but it was a mess he couldn't even if he wanted to, there was only one question that he wanted to ask him.  
"Can I trust you Chanyeol?" Baekhyun opened his eyes after few deep breaths, searching for Chanyeol's, which were already looking at him. Eyes dark and serious, Chanyeol nodded once, firmly and added with a serious tone.

  
"With your life" Baekhyun sighed wouldly again, feeling a bit relieved. He wrapped their fingers together, Baekhyun expected for Chanyeol to move away but he didn't, he started talking while looking at their licked hands.

  
"I have trust issues you know, I have selfesteem issues, I'm full of doubt about myself and everybody around me and I think that everyone wants to hurt me in some way and use me, so please understand why it's so hard for me right now" Chanyeol nodded, his face not changing even for a second. Baekhyun couldn't believe how understating he was.

  
"You don't have to rush yourself or anything, I understand. Take as much time as you need, if you will feel better I won't be around you for awhile just so you can clearn things out and..." Baekhyun cut in while he squeezed his hand, like Chanyeol was going to disappear.

  
"That's exactly what I don't need, from so much observation you've missed the important part in which I really don't want to be alone, especially in times like these. If i want to trust you I need to spend time with you learn about you..." Baekhyun stopped in the middle of the sentence, chuckling to himself. Chnayeol looked at him amused with a question.

  
"It's just that we have been living together for over 5 years now and the way I'm sying it sounds like we just met" Baekhyun chuckled to himself again, Chanyeol smiled softly but it didn't reach his eyes, the way it usualy did.

"Well it kinda is like we are meeting, because you never really opened up to any of us" Bakhyun shook his head, the little smile still on his face.

  
"Not true, you have some advantage here" He said playfully, shoving his slightly, trying to ease the tenssion that is build between them. Again he was using a mask and Chnayeol could probably feel it, but he had too many doubts about everything, he couldn't let them drown him.

Chanyeol only frowned at Baekhyun's words, because he was still feeling guilty. Baekhyun decided that it's still not time for jokes or masks, so he went back to his quite self. He bit his lips while playing with their fingers.

'Can i ask you something?" Baekhyun mumbled, Chanyeol nodded with a hum.

  
"Anything" Baekhyun knew he would answer absolutely honest, because of the situation they were in and he had to clear his mind and understand everything.

  
"You like me, don't you?" Chanyeol's eyes shot up to Baekhyun's as he heard those words, his cheeks slightly pink-ish already, breathign heavely.

  
"I..." He looked away for a second, then nodded.

  
"Yeah.." Bitting his lips feeling awkward, Chanyeol was red now. Baekhyun only nodded, it was obvious that there was no other reason for which Chanyeol would pay so much attention to him, if not because he had interest in him.

  
"So you observed me because you liked me and wanted to get close?" Chanyeol nodded, exposing.

  
"I didn't plan it to happen like this, not at all. It was all cute and sweet in my mind and now it looks like I chose the worst time to confess" Chanyeol mumbled under his breath, Baekhyun smiled at that.

  
"Since when has this been going on?" Baekhyun asked, looking to their hands and to Chanyeol's eyes from time to time, he replied like he didn't have any other option and it sounded like he has prepared it for awhile.

  
"Remember the award show back in the day when you wore gems on your neck?" Baekhyun's eyes got wide at the memory.

  
"That's 4 years ago Chanyeol!" Baekhyun exclaimed surprized, because he couldn't believe it has been so long. Chanyeol smiled at his expression and now his eyes lit up like usual and at the momery.

  
"Thats when I realized I was fucked up, because I felt the butterflies when I looked at you, I knew that there won't be anyone else than you since that day, I couldn't take my eyes off of you" Chanyeol's whole face was red, his ear and neck as well, he was burning up from embarrassment.

  
"So it's been going on for awile" Baekhyun looked away, analizing everyhting that happened so for and that maybe his fears aren't really reliable. If Chanyeol really had feelings for him for so long, he wouldn't hurt him, not even a single bit.

  
"And why haven't I noticed it until now" Baekhyun wondered outloud, still having the doubt that this might turn out bad for him. Chanyeol's smile went away, as if he felt Baekhyun's doubt and shook his head.

"I really don't know. I kinda waited for you to notice and ask me, but eventually I realized that wasn't going to happen, that I had to tell you myself so... Here we are" Chanyeol shrugged, Baekhyun could see that he was already getting uncomfortable with all of the questions, so he only nodded.

"Alright, I'm not going to make you suffer any longer just tell me one last thing" Chanyeol's sight became serious again, looking straight at Baekhyun.

"Can I rely on your feelings?" Chanyeol firmly nidded again, caressing the back of his hand with his rough thumb.

"Yes you can rely on me and what I feel for you, you can trust me because those feelings won't go away, because Ireally really like you to the point where I'm convinced that it's actual love and not just feelings" For a moment Baekhyun was stunned, because he had no clue that this was going on, but he nodded in a reply without saying anything.

He slowly moved his head to Chanyeol's chest laying there, their fingers still wrapped. Letting the warm feeling of calmness and safety sink into his whole body.

"Can we just stay like this for awhile?" Baekhyun asked as Chanyeol hugged him.

"Of course" Baekhyun was getting calmer and calmer with each second, realizing that it wasn't that scary to have someone next to you, who can understand you and who you can rely on, who will protect you and love you when you needed it, even though it was one of your best friends.

Baekhyun noticed that despite his relaxed self Chanyeol was under pressure, like he was waiting for something to happen, he was too stiff. Baekhyun knew what he was waiting for, but he just decided to be honest and nothing less, because he deserved it after everything.

"I've never really thought about you in this way to be honest and it's important to me, that understand every little thing I do so we don't have any misunderstandings. That's why please be patient with me give me little time to cope with everything, let's take it slow yeah?" Chanyeol only wrapped his arms tighter around his little body and hold him in place, but he didn't ease up.

"Can you promise me something Baek?" Baekhyun's heart started beating faster again because he didn't know what Chanyeol would want.

"O-okay.." He swallowed hard.

"Please, I ask only one thing from you. Always be honest with me, don't put any masks and don't pretend. Be honest as you are right now, I will understand even you don't like me back. I will still be at your side even if you don't want me in that way, don't push yourself into doing something you don't want to. Stay true to yourself and tell me so I'd know, okay?" Baekhyun was still a mess his mind was like a rollercoaster, he didn't know what was going on or what he was going to do from now on, but he knew that he wanted Chanyeol close to him.

"Okay, I promise" He replied while tightening his own hug around Chanyeol, hoping that it was enough to show him that he wants him to stay. He finally eased under Baekhyun who kept listening to his heartbeat.

"It's nice like this" Baekhyun took a deep breath and adjusted his head on Chanyeol's chest.

"You feel so warm and you're calming and your heartbeat is making me relax" Chanyeol chuckled and pushed his nose in Baekhyun's hair, placing a kiss there.

"You're so small and cute, do you know that" He said as he giggled, placing another kiss on his head. Baekhyun smirked, because if things went on like this they both would be happy and everything would be okay.

"Thank you Yeol for having the guts to admit it, I really needed someone who can understand and support me through hard times like today and just be there for in general. I've always been alone and didn't know it could feel so nice. I'm glad that, that person is you Chanyeol" Baekhyun could feel that he was smiling even though he didn't look at Chanyeol.

"Remember Baek, no matter what happens I will always be there for you, exactly two steps behind, to comfort you and treat you the way you deserve" Baekhyun only hummed.

"Chanyeol?" Baekhyun asked but he didn't really know how to continue, because he wasn't sure if it was time for it now. He was feeling little awkward, as he sat on the bed.

"What is it?" Chanyeol pushed himself up to a sitting position, still leaning on the wall behind. He got worried in the second Baekhyun was out of his arms.

"I... I want to try something" He said kind of awkwardly leaning over Chanyeol, with arms at both of his side, just inches away from his face now. Chanyeol"s eyes were wide open in surprise and amusement, as Baekhyun glanced at his slightly parted puffy lips.

"What.." Chanyeol whispered, but before he could say anything else Baekhyun's lips were on his kissing him. Nipping at his bottom lip sucking it lightly and then he bit it, making Chanyeol sigh and Baekhyun pulled away in the second, all red up to his ears.

"Ah.. I'm sorry, that was too much for a first kiss" He was so far away from Chanyeol now, trying to hide his embarrassed face with his hands. Chanyeol only chuckled at how cute he looked all flustered.

"No, not at all. I just didn't expect a kiss at all, let alone anything else. I'm the sorry one for ruining it" He took Baekhyun's hands away from his face.

"You promised you wouldn't hide from me, come here" Ge set him on his lap, his long arms wrapped around Baekhyun waist, his head back on Chanyeol's chest.

"Re-do?" Baekhyun mumbled in the crook of his neck, almost unheard but Chanyeol did hear, because he chuckled.

He moved his hand under Baekhyun's chin and rose his head, so they were inches apart. With a victorious smile Chanyeol pressed their lips together, this time he was leading the kiss. It wasn't like Baekhyun's of course, he was way more gently and sweet. Baekhyun was smiling most of the time, because of how slow Chanyeol was so it wasn't really a kiss.

"Too slow for a second kiss" Baekhyun said againt Chanyeol's lips, smiling

"Re-do" He whispered, as he traced Chanyeol's bottom lip with his tongue, seeking permission and without a second thought Chanyeol placed a hand on the back of Baekhyun's head, making sure he won't move and kissed him passionately.

It was too sloppy, kinda need from both sides, but they both enjoyed it nonetheless. Not giving Baekhyun a chance to take his breathe, he knew that Baekhyun liked it because he moaned when Chanyeol bit him back for a little sweet revenge.

When Baekhyun pulled back, he was still red but not from embarrassment anymore, he was playful with light in his eyes.

"Naaah, that was too sloppy for a third kiss" Baekhyun said playfully.

"Re-do?" Chanyeol asked amazed with raised eyebrows, Baekhyun only giggled shamelessly.

"Till when are you going to keep counting them?" Chanyeol wondered, pushing some hair off of Baekhyun's face, thumb caressing his cheek.

"Until we have a perfect first kiss" Baekhyun said smily, licking his lips and biting his lower one.

"But first, I really want to drink my hot coco that you made me, I've been thinking about it all this time" Baekhyun reached out for the cup, as he made hismelf comfortable in Chanyeol's lap once again.

"It's probably a cold coco by now, I should go and warm it up again" Chanyeol said as he looked at Baekhyun to move and let him do it, but Baekhyun shook his head.

"Nope, you're not going anywhere, I'm not done with you yet" He said playfully, as he unbuttoned the fist button on Chanyeol's shirt.

"Baek what are you..." Chanyeol asked confused as he tried to move away. This was like a totally new Baekhyun, not the one that was talking with him few minutes ago.

"I thought you wanted to take things slow and..." Chanyeol was confused, Baekhyun only chuckled as he drank from the cup, licking his lips seductively to wipe away the chocolate.

"I did and I mean it, I want to take things slow in the mental relationship that we have to build with my trust issues and of course in the platonic too, noone said that we are going to have sex or anything. I haven't kissed or hold anyone in few years, so forgive me if I'm turned on by the most little things and that I want to enjoy them, I'll stop if you don't like it or want it" Baekhyun's eyes moved away from Chanyeol, he was completely honest even though it sounded like he was joking and mocking Chanyeol.

"No it's not that I don't want it, of course I do, but again I didn't exepct it and it feels like it's another mask that you're hiding behind" Chanyeol looked down, disappointed in himself, but that wasn't the Baekhyun he knew.

"It's me Yeol, I promised to be honest with you and I am. I want to hug you and kiss you. It might be all too rushed and sudden but it's only, because I feel good when you're around, calm and safe. And at the same time like it will disappear after a second, like this will stop existing like it never happened, I just want to feel something other than sadness" Baekhyun honestly explained.

"Yes, we will work on my who to trust, how to trust problem, but that doesn't mean we can't have something else as well, while figuring everything out right?" Chanyeol was utterly confused by the sudden change of course of things, but Chanyeol knew that no matter what he does and no matter how hard it will be to get Baekhyun to trust him for real, he would never want anyone else than him.

"I think I'm in love with you Baekhyun" Chanyeol exhaled, lips parted, looking right into his eyes.

"You're so innocent" Baekhyun said playfully, as he pulled Chanyeol closer and whispered.

"I like that" Looking into Chanyeol's eyes with a spark of passion, couldn't hold his laugher.

"You're kinky, aren't you?" Baekhyun pulled his all famous playful smirk on.

"You have no idea how much" And pulled him into another first chocolate sweet kiss, Chanyeol could feel Baekhyun's hidden answer to his 'I Love You'.

**Author's Note:**

> This was a total disaster  
> Thank you for reading if you decided to read it till the end  
> I Love You All \^о^/


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